When God directs our paths..

I am up to my noggin' discerning God's will and direction in my immediate future. As I listen for God's voice and look for God's finger pointing me in the direction I oughta go, I have been thinking about all the ways God has directed my paths in times past.

When I was younger, God allowed me to lay out specific fleeces and to interpret them accordingly. I used to be mighty specific and God would always (I am serious) allow this method of discernment. But then, as I grew older in my faith (I am hesitant to say "grew maturer" because I sometimes wonder exactly how mature I am in my faith), I learned that God desired that as my faith grew, the methods of my discernment needed to change.

Growing older, I found discernment through the wise and experienced people around me to helped guide me in the decision- making process (as well as laying out the occasional fleece) so that the choices I made were thought-out and understandable.

Then, in recent years, my discernment process involved a mental conversation about how I best understand where God is leading, and engaging that process to recognize the signals (and sometimes goofy signals) that helped me see how whatever decision would affect me.

Now, I find that my discernment process is changing yet again. This time around, I am interpreting all sorts of inspiration. From wise people who surround me, to mental conversations to imagining "what if" scenarios, to the occasional fleece, to remaining aware of apparent "coincidences" that happen around me as the decision deadline looms. This time around I am incorporating all signals in my spiritual lifetime to really think how these decisions will affect me.

In all of this, I have noticed a definate progression of spiritual growth and change. It is as if there has come a time when my faith must be entirely engaged to the situation and I must take full responsibility for it. A part of me misses the days of my young faith when it needed only simple direction- now is the time when God has prepared and taught me how to make complicated decisions trusting that God will lead me wherever I go.

Since I am interpreting so many different angles and experiences, please pray for me as I work out my faith and discern some really tough decisions- both personally and professionally.

In memory of Reagan, I found this old Bloom County comic to remind us of his good ol' days.
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It was a good sermon

Practically everyone enjoyed the sermon on Sunday. I had originally hoped to make it more of devotional because we had so much going on in the service, however, once I got to writing it, it kept getting longer and longer... crazy, eh?

The service itself wasn't as seemless as I had hoped. I wanted to blend a few themes into the service: Pentecost season, the Holy Spirit, and the Trinity (since it was Trinity Sunday). I prolly should have just picked one theme- if a person was paying attention to the different themes, it might have been confusing.

Anyways, it was a good service and I finished writing the sermon in time to practice it and hone it down. You can read the sermon by visiting my church website and going to the Sermons section.

You'd think I was still in grad school...

I am amazed at how adept I am at procrastination. I am preaching tomorrow and I am about 70% finished with my sermon so you'd think I would just go ahead and finish the dang thing and be done with it.

Any yet... here I sit. Earlier this morning I had a retreat to attend that lasted from about 9:30am to 2:00pm; then I rushed home to finish my sermon. I got home.. and washed the dishes.. and napped.. and cleaned my room.. and went to the cleaners.. and napped.. and updated the church website.. and read some blogs.. and talked with mom over the phone.. and on and on.. and on and on..

It's 10:00pm on a Saturday night- I could be out with my friends; I could be riding my bike; but noooooooooooooooooooo, I still have my sermon to finish- what is up with me?! Daaaaaaaaaaaaang.

Making Sense of Church

Well, I must admit, Making Sense of Church by Spencer Burke is a real eye catcher and is interesting to read. The insights from Burke are very pointed and speak very candidly about many of the troubles of modern-day church & personal spiritual growth techniques. He provides some thoughtful questions at the end of each chapter and I, on the whole, found his insights very eye-opening.

One particular downside with the book is that it is a collection of much whining.. and whining.. from various posters to The Ooze.com who are sick and tired of being sick and tired with modern-day evangelicalism. Normally I can inhale a book of this size in an afternoon; not so with this one. There were times it was so negative that I could only read a couple pages at a time before the negative energy in it forced me to stop.

I can imagine those who agree with all the criticisms of the church to say something like, "Well, it's the truth!" And, it might very well be.. but it would have been helpful to include more stories about churches and people who are making a difference in the war with modernism and unspiritual church growth strategies.

Another aspect of the book that irked me to no end was the constant use of the word "we" when referring to the troubles of church life. For instance, I would read, "The problem with the church is that we have lost focus." Okay, so maybe you have lost focus but you don't know me, you haven't met me, including 'me' in the 'we' is offensive. Maybe it's just symantics but I would have enjoyed reading more "I"s than "we"s.

Okay, so I am whining now myself. I did enjoy the book and can see myself referring back to it often for insights and whatnot. And, I am a HUGE fan of The Ooze.com. However, even on The Ooze, I have to take it in doses lest the negativity depress me. Fortunately, I've met some great people on the message boards and have enjoyed making a whole slew of new friends in and around ministry.

Maybe Burke's next book might be titled, "Getting Over It: The Way to Transform your Congregation's Attitudes without Depressing Those Who Want to Join You on the Journey."

Okay, one more post and I'll stop for the day

I have been blogging over at theOoze.com and discovered this nifty list of ways to keep alert during a boring sermon. Maybe you can add some ideas of your own- if so, please do by commenting to this post. Just so you know that I am sympathetic to "those in the pews", don't you know. (smile)

Summertime Hours

One of my most favorite things about summertime is how my body responds to it. Only in the summer (or when there is more daylight) am I able to get up at 6:00am, or like this morning, 5:00am. I love being awake so early (assuming I get to bed early enough)- I get so much more accomplished.

This morning I was able to check my email, download an update to my firewall, install an updated Adobe Acrobat reader, have coffee, post some messages on theOoze.com and generally feel better. Oh, and I had the guts to step on my weight scale- and, you're not going to believe this (or you are going to believe it and you admit that I freak out too often), I weighed 228. I dropped 6 lbs in 2 days. What is up with that?! Maybe that extra weight I picked up on vacation was lazy weight? Or, fun weight that needed time to leave..? I have no idea. I wonder if I'll be back to my 224 weight by week's end? My body is so freaky sometimes.

However, I am sure happy to be up at this hour (it's 7:25am now). I think I'll head into work early and see what I can get done.

The Rule of Four

The Rule of Four is a book I just finished (leave it to me to do more reading on Fire Island than dancing) and it was really good. If you like those Emberto Eco style books that have a plot surrounding archaic discoveries then you'll enjoy this book about a couple of college seniors who interpret the hidden meanings in a 500 year old manuscript.

One thing I enjoyed about the book is how the writers weaved into the story a 'coming of age' theme about love and relationships while going about solving the secret to the manuscript. It was filled with heart-warming wisdom although in the end, rather than the boy getting the girl, the boy decides the girl isn't what matters to what he thought he wanted all along.

My next Eco-like book is going to be The Eight by Katherine Neville. I hear this is supposed to be a great read. Have your read it? If so, drop me a note and let me know how you liked it.

The Price of Fun

You're just not going to believe this!! I was away for 4 days during the holiday and gained 10 pounds! I didn't even think this was possible! I stepped on the scale last night and it complete horror, I weighed 234 lbs.

Last week, you have to understand the whole picture, I had my annual physical and my doctor said, "Bo, you're in the best shape I've ever seen you." I told him how I eat sensibly and exercise like a fiend and finally enjoy looking and feeling great. My doctor had me get on the scales and, watching his reaction with glee, I weighed 224 although earlier that week I weighed 222. My goal is to get down to 218 and I was all excited that I was almost there. My doctor congratulated me and I was beaming!

And then.. then I went to Fire Island.

Fire Island is a resort community (of sorts). Divided into different sections (some for families, others for various relaxers and party-goers), I stayed on part of the island for fabulous men who gather during the summer every weekend to relax, dance, and have the time of their (our) lives. On the island, there are a bajillion fancy beach houses surrounded by miles of boardwalk (no cars are allowed on the island thus, no streets, just boardwalks). In each beach house, there are between 8-10 people (usually friends) who rent a beachhouse every summer. Several of the regular summer renters are friends of mine who invited me out for the weekend.

This year, like last year (my friends invited me out last year too), I went to bed early and awoke early, tanned often, and read books (taking periodic naps throughout the afternoon). In the evening, I danced and mingled (in a good way), sipped cocktails and enjoyed all the relaxing fun that a vacation is meant to encourage.

In our house, one of the housemates is a bona fide chef. He is amazing. His name is Tony and every meal was like dining in heaven. And, since there isn't a place to exercise or workout, and since all our evening meals were eaten after 'high tea' (around 10:30pm!!), what you eat stays on you. Most of my friends would go out after dinner to dance the night way- except, I didn't go out, I went to bed.

It'll take me a month to get this weight off of me (grrrrrrrrrrr!!)-but then, I did have an amazingly wonderful time. I wonder if this is the price I pay for such a vacation? I know there is a lesson to be gleaned in all this and I am sure you can think of some nifty Aesop-like fable to make this point even more true; while you're doing that, I am going for a bike ride- maybe I can lose a pound today.

A Friend's Creative Humor

A friend of mine posted this on his blog. I thought it is hilarious and wanted to share it with you:

Please pray for me. My scalp is going through a messy church split - and I don't mean a part. They seem to be fighting over the color of the carpet. The traditionalists want to stay a sandy blonde because, well, that's they way things have always been. The others are arguing for white because I guess it looks more sophisticated or something.

Many have left altogether. I suspect they've become non-denominational. Others have begun congregating in my ears and they must be quite evangelistic because they seem to be multiplying at a rather healthy pace.

So far I've been able to keep them off my back.

Unexpected Surprises

Well it happened, my pastor made her announcement official on Sunday, she has accepted a call (a new church position) at a church in upstate New York. After 20 years at Broadway Church, she will be leaving to continue her ministry in an old and faithful parish.

Church on Sunday was bittersweet. We are happy for her that she is following God's lead to a new pastorship and we are incredibly sad that she will be leaving us. During the evening prayers that I led, it was tough to concentrate on the prayers and not break down in tears as we prayed for her and thanked God for her ministry among us. We thanked God for all her gifts and the gifts of peace and certainty she instills.

The Psalmist has said,
How wonderful it is, how pleasant,
when brothers and sisters live
together in harmony! (Ps 133:1)

Thank you Pastor Bonnie for the harmony you bring to us; may your new parish experience the profound joy and peace you have brought to us.

Them Republicans better watch out when they come to NYC.
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Do you know what you believe?

For those of us in the United Church of Christ, asking us exactly what we believe is not only a challenge, but often humorous too. Being non-creedal yet affirming the creeds of ages past, gives us the permission and "go-ahead gumption" to pick and choose at random (which is a good thing, don't get me wrong). If however, you have discovered that you have forgotten what you believe or, are too confused to put it all together, then go to this fun link to help decipher all the "theological-gobbledygook" that comes along with the free membership into the Christian faith.

What Really Is Going On

We like to think that what happened to Berg and the torture of prisoners in Iraq is the worst sort of nastiness that our troops are facing when in reality is only a part of a whole bunch of other nastiness that is happening.

One way to think about the nastiness of this war is to contemplate what would happen if America were invaded and what would we do. Remember that teen movie that came out in the early 80s called Red Dawn? It was about how a bunch of teenagers reacted to an invasion in America. I loved the movie then and it makes me think again, how would we feel about war if is was happening on our soil. What would be the Christian response if we were taken captive or if fighting on the streets and bombs blew up our houses and killed our children? Would we still shrug off the idea that collateral damage is a natural result of war? Or would we be outraged?

Here is a good article to help you remember what exactly is going on and it gives us something to think about.

People respond so differently..

My sermon this past Sunday got mixed reviews. Some people really liked it, others were furious. Leave it to me to specifically name Donald Rumsfeld and this administration as people who pursue peace the wrong way- who knew there would be sympathetic Republicans actually visiting Broadway Church.

One couple (I heard this info from a member who overheard the conversation), a man and woman, got up after the service. Turning to his wife (or partner or friend, this is NYC so one never really knows for sure), the man said, "Come on, lets get the h*ll out of this place!" And they did just that.

But then, I heard from so many others how much they enjoyed the service. A couple of older members said it was one of my best sermons and liturgies. Another friend of the church said, "Bo, you gave me so much to think about- so much good things to think about."

Admittedly, I wrote the sermon based on a brief conversation with a very good friend and a guy I really respect back in Oklahoma. While we have a different understanding about the nature of war, our conversation initially began questioning how God's good news could be proclaimed in the Iraq situation. My friend got me thinking about the nature of peace- so, my sermon is indebted to my friend who inspired me to think more.

I guess a person, who speaks the truth they believe is important, must also be prepared for others who don't look at it their way. I hope I didn't offend that couple who left in a huff but I also hoped I presented them with God's good news too.

You can read my sermon at the church were I serve by going to the sermons section of the church's website at www.bwayucc.org.

Neiman-Marcus Bars

Here is a receipe for the best treats that you can imagine- and they are so easy to make. I made this for a church dinner one night and they were inhaled in 5 minutes. If you want your friends and family to love you even more than they already do, then this treat is for you. :)

Here is what you'll need:

1 box of any yellow cake mix
1 stick of butter
1 egg
Mix these ingredients (I use my mixer for a long time, until the batter looks like playdough) and pat into a 13x9-inch pan

Then,

1 8oz package of cream cheese
1 lb of powdered sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup of nuts
1/2 cup of shredded coconut
Mix these ingredients and spread over first layer in pan. Bake at 325 degrees for 1 hour. Cut into squares after removing from oven. Makes 24 squares.

If you use this receipe, write back and let me know how it turned out.

God's peace is different

This Sunday's lectionary reading is taken from the Gospel of John where Jesus tells his disciples, "The peace I give you is not the the peace the world gives." One might think that peace is the same everywhere but its not.

The kind of peace Jesus was talking about is indeed very different. Taken from the Hebrew word for peace, shalom, God's peace is about wholeness, completeness, and security. To have God's peace is to be full in God- integrating the goodness of God into our whole selves. As 1 Corinthians says, it is about loving (remember peace is a definition of love).

The world offers a different kind of peace- to the world, peace is the absence of war brought about by justice, threat, controlling resources, and intimidation. Ironically, when we seek peace through justice and intimidation, we will never be able to bring about peace this way because violence, even when used with honorable (is this really possible) intentions, violence breeds violence. After reading about Nicholas Berg and the horrible things of war, is it possible to think that striking back against Iraq will bring out peace via revenge and intimidation?

We must fight the urge to be violent- our natures, I believe, were accustomed to war and intimidation as our ancestors hunted for food and created clans to claim the best resources. Jesus however, was the epitome of non-violence and calls us to peace. The only way we can achieve that sort of peace, is through right-relations with God and one another.

Since we not only have peace in God, we are required to seek peace and pursue it. Pursuing peace means forming right-relations based on love- not threat or intimidation. Pursing peace means sharing ourselves and what we have; it means respecting other people, their land, and their resources. It means not hording our wealth but treating everyone as if we were one large family.

Sadly, our greed keeps us from sharing and giving- and this only incites more jealousy and anger.

Misplaced anger and revenge also contributes to an antithetical pursuit of peace. When our World Trade Centers were bombed by terrorists, seeking a War on Terror with another country to redirect our anger on a tangible target was not a way to bring peace (nor an end to terrorism). It only incites it further.

Our belief in a justified torture of detainees in military prisons to force confessions to end terrorism to end the fighting to bring democracy to Iraq only begets more violence. There is no way that violence can ever beget lasting peace.

You see, God's peace is very different indeed. The world bases its peace on resources, while God's peace depends on relationships. To be right with God means to enjoy the peace of God. The world depends on personal ability, but the Christian depends on spiritual adequacy in Christ.

May we look for ways to bring true peace rather than allow our pride and greed to force a peace that will never take hold or prosper.

One of my Life Tricks-

A friend once asked me, "Bo, how come you're always so danged annoyingly cheerful?" I responded, "Because I have a good internal filter that keeps bad news and energy away from me." Perhaps my attitude has a dose of fatalism (or Calvinism, depending on how you look at it) or maybe escapism (not wanting to know so I won't have to deal with it), either way, I tend to be blissfully ignorant (at times) of really bad things.

Well- I am wondering if this is such a good idea after all. I was talking with another friend about a month ago and we were discussing my refusal to watch horror movies. I told him that I didn't like being scared and I do not like scary dreams (which happens when I watch scary movies). He said that I have other issues that need to be explored. I told him he's spending too much time in therapy and to stop analyzing me. He said that he may be in therapy a lot but that analyzing me was too much fun to quit. I had no idea what to say.

So, this morning- I have been thinking its time I get more involved in things I have no control over, to stress out more, and to "think this world is going to hell in a handbasket." It's time I quit avoiding conspiracy theories and blaming our country for all the world's evils, such as pollution and foreign disdain (okay, so I have always done this a little).

Want to know what I did? I subscribed to Salon.com. Let my maturity and eye-opening begin! Whether I'll long for the day in which I "should've taken the blue pill" is irrelevant at this point.

Joe Kort's Chapter Headings

I am reading, "10 Smart Things Gay Men can do to Improve their Lives" by Joe Kort. It is a book I picked up over the weekend. It is written by an openly gay psychotherapist in private practice in a Detroit suburb. The book is a great read because it is very inspiring and offers good advice without being condescending or trite.

I have noticed that the book begins each chapter with a revelant quote to what each chapter is about. Here are a few of the chapter headings and related quotes:

Take Responsibility for your own life
It is hard to love yourself more than you have been loved. -Charlotte Kasl

Affirming Yourself by Coming Out
It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for who you are not.
-Andre Gide

Resolve Issues with Your Family
A man can't make a place for himself in the sun if he keeps taking refuge under the family tree. -Helen Keller

Graduate from Eternal Adolescence
Would the small boy you once were look up to the man you have become? -unknown

Take Advantage of Therapy
We see the world as we are, not as it is. -the Talmud

What do you think about any of these quotes? Does any particular one speak to you?
I like the one, 'if the boy I was would respect the man I've become' quote. It's gotten me thinking about how much I've grown and changed in my life. In many respects, I am a completely different person now than I was when I was younger: my eyes have opened to new peoples and cultures; I am not as close-minded as I once was; and I enjoy being around people (something I did not enjoy when I was a kid). I don't know if the kid I was would 'approve' of the man I've become but he would surely admit I am much more fun and kind hearted.

A New Week

Being back to normal is pretty cool- however, the downside to it is that it tends to be a bit boring. Not that I am bored, mind you... only that, I can see boredom peeking its head around the corner, wondering what I am up to nowadays. I have to be careful and evade it lest we meet up and I get into all sorts of trouble.

For me, when I have less to do I am more prone to find other things to get into. I'll stay up later than normal, I'll hang out with my friends on a worknight, or I'll fiddle my time away postponing that something special because I am always thinking, "I have plenty of time to get it done."

I remember my grandma used to say, "Idleness is the devil's playground," of which I really didn't understand what she meant until I grew up. Now I know exactly what she means.

I am really not all that idle- I have some pretty big stuff coming up soon- I just have a lull in my hecticness which I find pretty cool. During this lull, I've been checking out my friends' blogs, writing emails to old friends, calling grandma and generally reconnecting with old hobbies, friends, and favorite websites. Heck, I've even watched television for awhile. This Thursday is the last show of Friends- which, I really haven't followed but I am going over to a friend's apartment to watch the final episode. It is sure to be fun.

This is my update- were you bored to tears reading it? LOL- watch out, boredom might be sneaking a peak around YOUR corner. (smile)