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Fantasy Coffins

You just hafta see this story. The link takes you to a story from the BBC news desk about different coffins people are using to be buried in. Be sure to scroll through the pictures. There are coffins that look like hammers, shoes, cars, and even a beer bottle!

I wonder if I should get a coffin in the shape of a can of Copenhagen? ;)

Upcoming Sermon

I find it amazing sometimes when it comes to how my sermons come together each and every week. They start off innocuous enough, usually me thinking about the lectionary reading and trying to blend all the lectionary readings together (usually we have choices for which texts to use, except during Epiphany, where there are 4 readings- an O.T. reading, a Psalm, an Epistle, and a Gospel text).

So, this week I am working on: Micah 6:1-8, Psalm 15, 1 Corinthians 1:18-31, and Matthew 5:1-12. I can preach one of these, two of these or all of them, it doesn't matter. The idea of preaching from the lectionary is that every three years the listener will have heard a sermon from every book in the Bible. So preaching from the lectionary is beneficial for the congregation as it is for the preacher- having a text for every Sunday makes it easier to prepare sermons.

So.. back to what I was saying, I am preaching this Sunday and I find it
facinating how certain events happen that bring a sermon together. For
starters, I am in another blog-response conversation with a friend in Oklahoma about the nature of obedience. My friend is working from the angle that fidelity to Jesus is the basis for our obedience and I am wondering how being in sync with the Spirit of God enables fidelity rather than looking for fidelity to keep us in sync with God. I wonder if there is a slight nuance that can help us understand the Sermon on the Mount (the Matthew reading) and Paul's exhortation in 1 Corinthians as to how our relationship with Jesus enables us to be in sync with God.

And then, when I think about being in sync with God, my mind takes me to those who work hard at syncing themselves with God through prayer and meditation as represented in the 8-Fold Path towards Nirvana as expressed in Zen Buddism and the understanding of peace of mind in the Four Agreements.

How does one get in sync with God? How does prayer and meditation facilitate this pursuit? I started reading the Four Agreements by Don Ruiz because my brother, who is incarcerated, found them to provide him with a peaceful resolution to his challenging times. He thought I would enjoy it. And, I am. The book has its flaws but all in all, it also has some interesting insights. And, given my sermon for Sunday, I am wondering how I can blend what I have been reading into the sermon without taking away from the communion experience we have with God through Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

Also, I have been reading the Gospel of Thomas in the Nag Hummadi library and am curious how Thomas records Jesus' Sermon on the Mount isn't one particular event but rather, he includes Jesus' sayings in all of Jesus' sayings. In other words, they aren't grouped together as in Matthew; they are included throughout the book with interesting and slight differences.

Scholars suggest that the Gospel of Thomas is probably more like how the
original texts were written before editors started fiddling with the texts. It is an interesting book for sure and confusing as all heck. But how does the Gospel of Thomas highlight fidelity and how can it shed light on the lectionary readings for this coming Sunday? Hmmm.. I wonder.

So it looks like I still have a lot of work to do but still.. its coming together. To me, being a preacher is like being a writer who has a deadline every
week- thereby forcing the writer to use all of his or her daily experiences to accomplish the assignment. One of my parishioners told me sometime ago when I asked what he thought about something theological, "I am not going to tell you what I think because I know you'll write about it in your sermon!" heh heh.. My friends are on to me.

I am sick

Well, wouldn't you know it. I finally got sick. Like our suprise blizzard that happened while NYC was enjoying one of its mildest of winters, I was relatively healthy and happy until Saturday morning when I woke up with a killer sore throat.

Yesterday I was achy and stopped up; this morning my nose is running like a Harlem fire hydrant on a hot summer afternoon. Gads, I hate being sick almost as much as I hate taking the over the counter remedies that leave me feeling dazed, confused, and constipated (was that too much information?).

My secretary emailed me to recommend eating ginger raw- she said it'd be nasty eating but that it'd do wonders for my throat. I'll probably take some Throat Comfort tea and go back to bed.

On a happier note, Sam Champion co-hosted this morning's Regis and Kelly. Sam Champion is the weatherman for ABC7 and he's quite the sexy homosexual. My boyfriend called me this morning and said, "Get up! Get up! Sam Champion is co-hosting with Kelly!!!" And so I did and there he was. Roy said, "I have to confess that if I ever met Sam, I'd have to proposition him and marry him." That Sam has the homos in this city all excited. :)

On a sadder note, I learned this morning that Johnny Carson died yesterday. Heck, I didn't even know he was sick! I liked Johnny Carson and for me, he symbolized the coolness of adulthood as well as the steamier side of adults which was my only access to it as a child. His jokes and inuendos of sexuality either left me bewildered or, when I got his jokes, laughing wildly. He was truly a classy act.

Oh, by the way, services yesterday were fabulous. I was thinking we would have a small crowd in church being that the blizzard hit the city. However, we had a packed house. And, with our visiting preacher, it made it all the more worthwhile (I always worry for our guest preachers that only half of our congregation will show up, which is sometimes the case). However, this particular guest preacher is widly popular among UCC ministers and everyone wanted to come hear him. Cliff Frasier, our guest preacher, was arrested a couple of years ago protesting the School of the Americas and was sent to federal prison for 6 months as a result. He preached about his experience and showed an amazing sense of grace and hope as a result of his experiences. I'll have his sermon online later this afternoon, if you'd like to read it. It was a wonderful sermon.

Okay, I guess I oughta go make some tea. Maybe I'll write something later.

New Web Browser

Mozilla's Firefox seems to be all the new rage when it comes to web browsers. Reading PC World this week, I became curious enough to download and install the new browser to see how it handles my surfing, website management, and general overall fun.

Downloading and installing the new browser took a couple of minutes. I have had it running now for about an hour and am somewhat impressed with it although it doesn't handle my Yahoo toolbar very well (which is important for me since I use yahoo's geocities website management tools frequently).

One really cool feature though are its tabbed windows. I can have as many open browser windows open at once, separated by tabs that make going back and forth to each one pretty easy to do. If I find other cool features, I'll be sure to let you know.

Are any of you (the readers of this blog) using Firefox? How do you like it? Any comments you'd like to share?

Introducing the new fangled..

...translation of the Bible. Yahoo posted a story about the introduction of the Today's New International Version of the Bible. As the story explains, there is controversy from some folk that the Bible shouldn't ever be updated in language. I guess it's like that old joke, "If the King James Version was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for us." Of course, the joke rests on the idea that Jesus spoke King James english when in fact he didn't. And we know that. Or some of us know that.

Anyways, I am quite fond of the New Living Translation. Go here, its the New Living Translation of Lamentations and its quite profound given the updated language. Read it and then go and read the King James Version of the same passage in Lamentations and see if the former makes more or less sense to you.

I remember ages ago a friend of mine fired his pastor in a church in Ohio because the pastor wanted to use the New International Version and a few members of the church wanted to use the King James Version. The pastor wouldn't back down and neither did the few members- they created a big ol' hoopla and ousted the pastor. Who'd've thunk that a Bible translation could cause such a stir?

For some folks, they get to majoring in the minor things and forget what we're on this earth for- to reach the lost, feed and comfort the sick, and love each other like crazy. I guess for those folks its easier (and less messy) to spend the energy on minor debates than it is to get one's hands dirty and care for the unfortunate.

But then, I have always wondered why the pastor was willing to "go down fighting" over a translation? A Christian comedian of my youth used to say, "When we spend our time doing the do's of God we won't have time to do the don'ts," and I'd like to add, "or waste our time over such trivial matters."

free ipod

Okay, so you just have got to help me get a free ipod. Click the link on the side panel and it'll take you through some steps and you too! can get a free ipod.

Yeah, it might be silly but from what I hear, this really works. Besides, them ipods are like, $300! and the offer is for a 20 gig mp3 ipod, its just too hard to beat.

Poor choice or planned stunt?

When I awoke this morning, I realized I needed milk for my coffee so I threw on a sweatshirt and jeans and headed downstairs to the corner market. As I passed the newstand, I noticed the front page headlines on the New York Post in which Prince Harry had wore a Nazi soldier uniform to a costume party for a friend. You can read the story here.

At first, I thought, "That boy is going to rue the day he did that! This'll be his personal scandal for years." But then, being reminded of the rumors of the Royal involvement during WWII of his family with Hitler, I wonder if he wore that costume for a reason-- as if he knows full well the rumors, and in his adolescent way, thought he'd make a point of some sort. Percocious? Probably. Scandalous? Most certainly. Unwise? Most definately. Still... I'll bet he knew exactly what he was doing.

A Moment of Silence...

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at this moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed last week.Larry LaPrise, the man who created the "Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at age 93.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in ... and then the trouble started.

Potato Casserole

This was so amazing that everyone asked for thirds!

1 - 2lb. pkg. frozen hash browns
1 can cream of chicken soup
3/4 cup of evaporated milk (Milnot or Carnation)
1 stick of butter
salt and pepper to taste
2 cups of sour cream
1 and a 1/2 cup grated cheese
1 chopped onion
1/2 pkg of stuffing mix (Stove Top Stuffing)

Mix and pour in dish, and sprinkle cheese over top of mixture. Pour stuffing mix over that. Bake covered at 350 degrees for an hour and a half.

Yuuuuuummmmmmmyy!

Slow Recovery

My Christmas holiday was so insane that I am just now in the mood enough to explain it all. Now, don't get me wrong, I had a great time- it was just so exhausting.

For starters, my flight back to NYC from Oklahoma was delayed and I missed my connection in Memphis and had to spend the night there. That delay affected by New Year's Eve plans where Roy and I were cooking dinner for 8 and ushering in the New Year. Then, the party got a bit crazy and everyone stayed over until the next morning (sleeping on the floor)- Roy and I got up and made a great lunch. The party was wonderful- but just so busy.

Anyways, the busy party planning and celebrating forced me to stay up all night on Saturday finishing my sermon for Sunday. Everyone in church really enjoyed the sermon, so I guess it all worked out alright. You can read the sermon by going to http://www.bwayucc.org/Sermons.html

Being off all last week has made this week a bit busy- its managable, just a bit hectic, thats all.

Now that I am more clear headed, I'll write some blog stuff soon.

Oh, did you hear? OU got plummetted in the Orange Bowl. I sat in terror and complete sadness. (Shhh... don't tell anyone that I was actually watching football.. I think that'd affect how gay people think I am, Ha!).

Been Away Again

I've been in Oklahoma for the past week and returned to a hectic day of party planning, dinner, and New Year's Eve merriment. I have much to do today preparing for tomorrow (Sunday), so I'll keep this short and write more on Monday.

Happy New Years!

Dealing with Shame

This Sunday's lectionary reading is about Joseph and his reaction to his fiance's unexpected pregnancy and how he responded to it. After reading the story, I found myself asking how Joseph must have felt both as he discovered Mary's untimely pregancy or wrestled with the feelings of shame he probably experienced long after he and Mary were married. Did people talk about his as he walked by? Did Mary's parents believe that Joseph didn't get their daughter pregnant?

I believe most of us have experienced shame at one point or another in our lives. Living with shame is tough, and how we go about dealing with it truly marks our character. In any event, here is a portion of the sermon I am going to preach later tonight. You can read the entire sermon by visiting my church's website once I post the sermon online tomorrow (or later tonight).

At some point or another, some of us have been there too: It’s the dead of the night, that special hour when the silence seems spooky, and suddenly you are awakened. On the surface, it could be for any reason: a fragment of a disturbing dream, some stressful remnant from the day before. But as you lie there sinking back into sleep, something else rises up to grasp your conscious mind. It’s more than just an anxious feeling cresting on a cloudy surface; it’s a whisper from way down deep, past the layers of worry, anxiety, and need. It’s a small voice buried in the very center of who you are. And the voice asks, ‘Am I okay? Am I really satisfied with the way I am? Maybe there is something wrong [with me] after all.'

Tower of Babel?

I have discovered an interesting site this morning while doing some cross referencing for a sanskirt thing I am working on and came across this piece. The author is explaining the history of the sanskrit language as well as the theory that sanskrit is among the list of Proto Indo European (P.I.E.) languages that may have all evolved from one source language some 10,000 years ago. The theory is that all the PIE languages share common traits in pronunciation, grammar, and structure thereby supporting the idea that they all have a shared common ancestor-language.

The idea is akin to the Quelle source document (often simply referred to as Q) that is supposed to contain all the sayings of Jesus. It is believed that the authors of the Gospels each had a copy of the Q and then used his sayings to articulate and explain Jesus' life. In a more modern crass explanation, it is like the musical Roy and I saw last week called Mama Mia in which all the songs of Abba were sung in a particular order in which to tell a particular story.

Anyways, back to this PIE language theory, it is facinating and if you have a few minutes, drop by this site here and have a look-see. The idea of an original source language reminds me of what it may have been like in pre-Babel times. I love the idea of a story in the OT being written to explain the various different languages. Even if the story of Babel itself isn't factual (although one never knows), the idea that one language did exist, just tickles my bone of curiosity in ways that other bones in my body are... no wait, I had better just stop typing right now.. Lord knows I'd give just way too much information.

Deskstop Search Program

Wowsers, I have found the coolest new free program going around. It's called Copernic Desktop Search tool and its purpose is to index your hard drive, your email box, your pictures, your music, and a host of other options. Once indexed, all you need to do is type in what you're looking for in the search engine and as fast as you can say, "lickety split" you have your results. And, your results are broken down by date. You'll have sections for 'this week', 'this month', and the last 3 months, and the last 6 months and so on.

I just can't believe how useful this tool has been at work. I am one of those crazy people who gets about 150 emails a day (not including spam); it is just so hard to keep track of what I get and I am often spending more time looking for an old email than I would be if I just picked up the phone and called the sender. Now, I can save some embarrassment. Yesterday I used to feature 4 times!

Anyways, you can download this program by either going to the above link or by going to it this way, if you want to be sure the website doesn't "track itself" from the host site back through your computer: find.pcworld.com/45632. It's not too big a file, you can download it in less than a minute if you're using broadband. Also, keep in mind that it'll take the program a couple of hours or more to index your hard drive (depending on how much stuff you already have on it), I did it before I left work on Thursday and had it waiting for me on Friday morning. I did it on my home system early this morning and it took about 3-4 hours.

Bifocals?

Like my fellow pastoral comrades, I have been too busy to post anything of note on my blog this past week. From preparing for court depositions, to planning worship services, to writing sermons, to advertising, to meetings, to yada, yada, yada... and next week looks busier than this week... I have been neglecting this blog and I apologize. However, today something happened that has forced me to write something down.

I went into an eyeglasses store to begin looking at replacing my glasses. I've had them for over two years and am thinking I should replace them with something nicer looking. So, during my lunch break, I went over to a Cohen's Eyeglasses Shop located around the corner from the church.

While I was checking out some really cool frames, I found one that I thought had "me" written all over them. The glasses looked expensive (and they are) but the store is having a 50% off sale on all their frames. So I inquired how much the glasses would cost, including eye exam and the lens. The receptionist said, "Well that all depends, will you be needing bifocals with this pair?"

"BIFOCALS?!! How old do you think I am lady?!", I replied in a rather loud manner.

Unfazed, she (the receptionist) repeated, "If you are going to need bifocals, it'll cost more, that's all I am saying."

"BIFOCALS?!! Good gawd," I replied, coming down from my shock.

Checking out the mirror again with the new glasses on my nose, I thought to myself, "I don't look that old. The gray hair on my temples look sexy. My skin is darn good for almost 40 years old. Thank you very much."

Thinking reflectively, it appears that I am going into older age kicking and screaming. I am glad Roy wasn't there to hear my reaction and rant. My rants tend to embarrass him- I think I was absolutely justified in my response. Don't you?

Inventive Midrash about John the Baptist

This past Sunday I preached a sermon about John the Baptist and used, what I thought would be creative license, to better explain his situation in prison. In the lectionary reading from Sunday, John the Baptist asks his disciples to go ask Jesus, "Are you the Messiah or should I look for another?" Given John's close relationship with Jesus, and his baptism of Jesus where he heard the voice call down from heaven, and given the fact that John had been preaching Jesus as the Messiah, what brought about John's doubts and what lesson might we learn from it?

And so, I thought I'd do something creatively different. I created a midrash story. Midrash is a Jewish literary art form in which a story is taken from the Old Testament and certain details (usually fictional or historically accurate) are added to the story whereby a moral is gleaned that remains somewhat consistent with Hebrew Scripture. This form of storytelling is as older than them Jewish hills- heck, even the Talmud is full of midrash.

Anyways, I applied some inventive midrash to the story of John the Baptist. And certainly, I told everyone I was doing it- I just did it to help clarify John's situation. Some folks absolutely loved it... others though were clearly offended. You'd think we liberal Christians would have more licenses but I guess there are always those who don't want anyone messing with their Christian history- even if that history isn't as complete as we'd like it to be.

Here is a sample of the sermon and the link to read the rest of the sermon at the bottom of the post.

And so, John went to live and study in the desert with a bunch of very bright religious zealots who wore long white robes. The Essene community, as we understand it from the translation of the Dead Sea Scrolls, was comprised of men who had escaped the city life to dedicate themselves to monastic and ascetic spirituality. These Essenes were waiting for certain signs to usher the known world into a new age of religious practice and belief.

I can just imagine the eagerness of John was well received by this community of scholarly but perhaps seemingly very boring men compared to John. With John’s vigor, he delved into his studies with excitement.

As John studied and learned the teachings of this community, something began to come together for him. As the teachers spoke about the true Messiah fulfilling the prophecies of the prophet Isaiah, having been born of a virgin, suddenly a light began to dawn in him. His cousin Jesus was born of a virgin! And doesn’t Jesus’ name mean ‘God with us’? Excitedly, he told his brothers in the commune about his cousin Jesus and that he was the chosen Messiah!

Casting sideward glances to one another, the Essenes nicely but firmly told John that this couldn’t be. “The Messiah would come to set things right, not rise up from the within it,” they said. Or, “The Messiah would bring about a new world order—in a way that crushed the enemy. How could a carpenter’s son accomplish this?” Angered and thwarted, John knew his brothers had to be wrong. As much as he pestered them to reconsider, the angrier they became until they decided that John was no longer stable enough to consider becoming a brother of the Order. They asked him to leave.

You may read the rest of the sermon here.

"The 23rd Sigh"

I know the dangers of mixing politics and religion; however a church member just shared this with me tonight and I want to pass it along.

"The 23rd Sigh"

Bush is my shepherd, I dwell in want.
He maketh logs to be cut down in national forests.
He leadeth trucks into the still wilderness.
He restoreth my fears.

He leadeth me in the paths of international disgrace for his ego's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of pollution and war,
I will find no exit, for thou art in office.
Thy tax cuts for the rich and thy media control, they discomfort me.

Thou preparest an agenda of deception in the presence of thy religion.
Thou anointest my head with foreign oil.
My health insurance runneth out.
Surely megalomania and false patriotism shall follow me all the days of thy term,
And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever.

God's Special People

I have these two friends who drop by ever so often to chat and say hello. One is a homeless man with severe mental dillusions and the other, a grandmother, who lives up the block who is completely off her rocker. One is named Ted* and the other is Roberta*.

Ted is a guy in his late 40s who sleeps in the park at night and roams the Upper West Side during the day. Wearing layer upon layer of clothes and smelling of both rotten eggs and a combination of human poo and urine, he is quite the odoriferous fellow. Stopping in at various churches, he conjols others for money in whatever way he can muster. With me though, he doesn't ask for money (although he used to, I guess he just got tired of me saying, "No. However, would you like a sandwich?") Every Tuesday and Thursday, Ted comes downstairs to my office and sits down to talk about his life and whatever is going on until its time to hand out the sandwiches. Usually his discussions make absolutely no sense, he jumps from one conversation to another in quick succession. Lately he's been talking about killing his uncle by slitting his throat or by pouring bleach on him and setting the bleach on fire. I haven't told him that bleach isn't flamable--just in case he actually does this. I don't really think he'll ever do this- but I have mentioned him to the local police who smile and say, "Nah, I wouldn't worry about ol' Ted, he's fairly harmless." I think he's harmless too.. although last week he did give me a fright.

I had been relunctant to tell Ted that I was gay because one never knows how a homeless mentally challenged paranoid schitsofrenic (sp?) would handle such revelations. However, the day finally came when I told him because of his insistence that I need a woman to make my nights more enjoyable. Upon hearing the news, he was shocked.. and responded in a loud, "You are going to hell!" kind of way. But that wasn't what was frightening. The next day he came back and to say, "You know, perhaps I can help teach you some special techniques to show Roy (I told him about my boyfriend) and preceded to ask for my home address and when a proper time to drop by so he could sexually satisfy me. Gasp!! I was too shocked to actually answer right away. Gathering myself, I told him that, "No, I didn't need him to do that," that, "No, we will never have sex," and "No, I do not give you permission to talk to me like that."

He stopped in today and apologized for the way he talked to me last Saturday. And, almost as if the conversation never happened, he went back to why he hates his uncle and how he misses his mother (who died last year) during this holiday season. Ted is a bit of a staple around this neighborhood and, seeing him reminds me that life continues on.. day by day.. with all its idiosyncricies.

Roberta is a bit different. She is in her mid 60s, as thin as a rail, and is missing earlobes that look as if they were bitten off by something (or someone). And, she always has painted on her lips the brightest red lipstick you ever saw. Sometimes she tries to sneak a kiss on my cheek just so that she can see the bright lipstick on my cheek. Today she came in (as she normally does) laughing and carrying on very loudly. Screaming, "HOW IS MY PASTOR BO DOING TODAY? I LOVE MY PASTOR BO!" She is someone who knows she's nuts and takes the appropriate medication that really only sedates her.. you ought see her when she's not sedated! Still, she brings a warmth and a smile into the office whenever I see her. Unfortunately she's always looking for money, a cigarette, or a piece of cake. Still, when I see her she lightens my day.

Roberta came to visit me this past Sunday too. Wearing a fancy dress and a bright red wool coat, she asked if I had any change, a cigarette, or a piece of cake. Unfortunately, I had nothing of the sort but we talked and we both got a big kick out of seeing each other. She had to leave shortly after she arrived because her "show" was coming on the television and, as she said, "I JUST GOTTA HAVE MY SOUL TRAIN!" I found at today that Aretha Franklin was on Sunday and Roberta preceded to sing to me some of Aretha's fine singin'. I think Aretha's a mighty fine singer too so we both joined in a rendition of, "You better stop, think, about what you're doin' to me.."

We had a great time.

This past Sunday our guest preacher preached on the times in which we entertain angels unawares. The sermon highlighted the many times in which people come into our lives that enrich us and then, sometimes depart before we have a chance to thank them. I have been fortunate to thank both Ted and Roberta for their friendships.. even when our meetings are odd or off the wall. To me, they are like angles (heck, they might even be angels.. if it wasn't for Ted's horndog-ness, I might really wonder).

Sometimes I wonder if I am not entertaining angels, then who might I be talking with. I say that because of something Jesus said once, "In as much as you do it to the least of my brethren, you do it unto me." Hmm.. whether I am entertaining angels or Jesus, I know that God is calling me to care for the poor and lonely. I wonder if God just said that about the angels or if Jesus just said that about himself, just to make sure I do it. Regardless, I have found people like Ted and Roberta as God's special people and I am sure glad they are my friends.

_______________
* Not their real names.

This week's WinXP News

I have been debating about downloading Service Pack 2 for XP. I have heard so many horror stories from folks who did so and am ever so relunctant to experience those problems. Today while reading this weekly eNewsletter, I found a webpage at Microsoft (as explained in WinXP News) that details particular problems to expect and which programs I have that will conflict with the service pack update. As a result, I have DEFINATELY decided NOT to download Service Pack 2.

You can read about this and other exciting computer talk about this month's issue at WinXP News.