When Pledges Don't Work- Then What?

"The federal government is spending $167 million this year to spread that abstinence-only message. And there’s a law that says that for a program to receive government funding, it must not talk about the health benefits of using condoms -- only about how they fail. "

This quote is from a segment on 60 Minutes that discusses the Virginity Pledge and a recent study that explains that 88 percent of the kids who take the pledge, fail to keep the pledge. And when they fail the pledge, they engage in high risk sexual activity believing (because they've been told so) that wearing a condom is useless and won't protect them.

In the last few years since the pledge phenom has swept in the public schools, teenage sexually transmitted diseases have skyrocketed. More and more kids are getting pregnant and contracting HIV and other STDs. And the Federal Government is to blame. They are telling programs that if they receive money for abstinence-only education that they must:
1. Not to recommend condoms
2. Not show how to use them
3. Only teach that condoms fail (check out this site as an example and this one.)

Does it take a rocket scientist to see why STDs and teen pregnancies are up? What moron(s) conceived this program anyway?

Jocelyn Elders and C. Everett Koop, former Surgeon Generals of the U.S. both advance that abstinence programs are good but that they should include a simple statement:
"First, don’t have sex. Second, if you do, use a condom." It's simple and honest. And, it doesn't pretend that kids aren't having sex (which they obviously are).

Now, here is something really scary. "Adolescents who take virginity pledges – who remain virgins, that is, who don’t have vaginal sex, who technically remain virgins, are much more likely to have oral and anal sex," says Bearman, the guy who headed the study that found 88 percent of the teens who took virginity pledges failed to keep their pledge."

AND, "They're much LESS likely to get tested for a sexually transmitted disease. They’ve taken a public pledge to remain a virgin until marriage. The sex that they have is much more likely to be hidden," says Bearman. "It’s likely to be hidden from their parents. It’s likely to be hidden from their peers. And if they live in a small community, it’s quite likely to be hidden from their doctor."

And so, these kids who are not having sex, as they understand it to be, are actually doing it, and they're doing it without condoms because their being told they don't work, they're not getting tested (out of a fear that others might find out their having it) and then (surprise!) they're spreading their STDs to other kids.

When I was a youth minister at a large Baptist church in Texas, my pastor was furious at me for not jumping on the True Love Waits campaign to get the youth to make pledges to remain a virgin until marriage. I told him that as far as I knew, half of our teens already had sex and to stigmatize them as 'impure' would add to the pressure and alienation these kids already face. And, I told him, if they feel alienation in our youth group, they'll probably leave the group and go somewhere else where they feel less alienated.

I also explained to him that I doubted those pledges worked because I knew a lot of my peers who had taken the pledge but still have sex, it just wasn't procreative sex. I had said that I thought it was a sham and not spiritually honest. He agreed (to my surprise) and we didn't use the program. I thought it was crazy then, who knew that 10 years later, one third of all public schools would be embracing the program AND telling our teenagers that condoms don't work; with the hope that they'd be left with no choice but to abstain.

What clear headed adult doesn't realize that the powerful urges to have sex cannot be contained to the extent that the proponets of the abstinence would like? We need to be smarter adults and admit to kids that we'd like for them to wait but if they don't, then they must use a condom. If our Surgeon Generals (who are the highest ranked doctors in our nation) agree, then shouldn't our Administration follow their advice? To me, it's mindnumbingly stupid to continue advocating for abstinance without the caveat of condom use.

We're sacrificing our youth for an ideological religious position that is going to have serious consequences on our nation and our healthcare system. But I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, we're doing the same thing in Iraq by sacrificing our servicemen and women to the ideological whim of democracy from our President and Republican led House and Senate.

Anyways, I need to get off my soapbox and let you can read the the CBS pledge story by going here. There you can form your own opinions.