Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Some more Obscure Chuck Norris Facts

I don't know what it is about Texas and Oklahoma's love for all things Chuck Norris. It could be he kicks butt wonderfully well, that he was a world karate champion for a looooooong time, or because he's also a vocal and recognized Christian celebrity and is a regular contributer to World Net Daily, a Christian fundamentalist news source. Still, a friend posted on his Facebook page these interesting and obscure facts about ol' Chuck and found them hilarious. I hope you do too (even if he's scary conservative).

1. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2. There is no “ctrl” button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
4. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
5. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
6. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
7. “Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.”
8. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
9. Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
10. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

You can read more amazing "facts" by checking out Chuck Norris Facts.

No comments: