My Dream

I had one of the most real-feeling dreams I've had in a long time. In the dream, my eldest brother took me on a long journey, up and over, down and through, and then up again to an unfamiliar place. Standing near a city-like park, with benches and trees in small square plots interdespersed between different concrete paths, my brother said, "I have someone who wants to see you. But he doesn't have very long. Look.. here he comes now."

And I looked up and saw him. Walking with difficulty and dressed in a striped black suit, I immediately recognized him. It was my dad. I ran up to him and we embraced. We looked at each other and we both smiled big and bright. His eyes were as clear as the sky and he grabbed me by my shoulders and said, "I've missed you so much." Looking at him, with his wide smile and with an incredible sense of peace and calm, I said, "I've missed you too and I love you Dad." Then he said smiling, "I love you too, son. And don't worry, I'll be seeing you around. It'll be okay, David."

Then suddenly I awoke from the dream clutching my pillow with tears rolling down my cheeks, I was crying loud, hard, and uncontrollably.

My dad died on November 9, 1991. It has been almost 14 years and this dream felt the most real than I've ever had involving him and me. As I laid in bed, I thought about how my dad didn't see me graduate from college, or seminary. Nor did he witness my life-long pursuit of ministry where I now serve a church, in New York City, of all places.

Thinking about my dream, I have so many questions: Does God speak in our dreams? Or do our dreams reflect something deeper, so deep that only when a particular time comes, are we're ready to begin the journey of appreciation from someone who loved us very much? And/or, do these dreams happen when we need them to happen (or when its determined that we need them to happen) before something big happens in our lives? I am too nervous to dig too deep right now and my attempts at deconstruction seem to make the experience less a cause of joy. I am just going to wait- and appreciate the moment as best I can.

I feel blessed this morning and my prayers to God were full of thanksgiving for such a real and meaningful experience in my dream. I'll be looking forward to seeing my dad again- as he pops in and out of my slumber and I think about him in my waking hours.